Depending on people was something that no one ever told me while i was growing up that it would be something adults do not do. As an adult you're supposed to already know how told hold your own(so they say) but as i got older i started to realize no one wants to leave the nest? It seems like no one wants to grow up? And i admit, at some point i was a part of the same sickness too: Afraid to leave the nest and be independent. I left the nest when i was 18 years old. It wasn't by choice actually. i was practically forced out, and i went through a lot. it was so bad that i went through a serious nervous breakdown. I wanted to know really what was my purpose in life. I knew what i liked but i did not see any outlet.
The will of God was strong and i am stilll here!!! As i look around i cannot help but want to isolate myself from everyone. Not because i am being a total bitch, but because everyone has issues and everyone i ever depended on kind of let me down big time. I never wanted to believe that "people can't be trusted" or "people always let you down". In fact, i always thought anyone can help me, and if i asked, it would come. I learned my lesson. I always needed someone, someone to save me,someone to talk to, and for a while i was angry that no one was coming to my rescue, and i had given help to anyone and anything.
I know by this point you are like "spit it out Charlie". Well a couple of days ago, i ask for someone to do something for me, it was a little emergency and i needed that person to help me. the person gave me the run around, another didn't pick up, and another was bullshitting. i was upset at the world because i almost felt stood up and i felt like a joke seriously. A wave of anger came through me and I said out loud, "Fuck this shit!!! I do not need anyone!!" It was true, I didn't neeeed anyone, and I had made up my mind at that moment to work very hard and to never depend on anyone to get the job done. I f i wanted shit done, i would have to do it myself because no one is like the old breed anymore. No one will go the extra mile for someone if its not love, and even if its love, some people do not want to do anything for anyone. Its up to you to do it. If you have to walk an extra mile, then put on your best shoes and walk. if you have to stay up late to get the job done, grab a red bull. if you have to wake up a couple of hours early, then set that alarm!!!
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